Can I piss in the corner?

That was my favorite quote from today after I handled bathroom procedures absolutely atrociously. I did not give clear expectations and the kids totally took advantage of me. 12th graders need procdures for everything otherwise they cannot handle it responsibly, even after a big discussion about respect and what that looks like.
I can't believe how hard teaching is. It is the hardest job I've ever had in my life. I think flying a jumbo jet or running a million dollar farm would be easier.

Kids feel asleep on me, didn't care when I walked over to them.
I few did tell me some nice things, like
I want to go to college.
Please change the seating chart so that I don't have to be by the disruptive kids, becuase i just want to learn.
My faculty advisor is great and my collaborative(the two other kids who I teach with are great)

This is more like a journal entry because I'm so frazzled, I can't even attept to write coherent paragraphs or anything that would require thought. I have to teach a lesson on geometry tomorrow. Some of the kids aced the diagonitics, others could barely read it. Wow. Wow.
How do people do this? I already want to start all over again and try it again and again. How can you pay attention to late kids, take role, learn 35 names, dicipline before you've taught the rules, organize kids who you havn't been able to teach procedures to yet, answer questions about the air conditioner, their school which you know nothing about. They asked me how old I was and where I had taught. I spun my tutoring experience into a teaching tale. My Corp Member Advisor tells me to lie.
Good plan.
Also to fake it a lot. I'm not sure I faked it well today. I need to work on my teacher voice.
wow
OUT OF CONTROL!